The Rapture

I have really been trying not to get caught up in the rapture that is the fineness of Reggie Bush. But, alas, my attempts were for naught. I'm caught up, ya'll. I'm caught out there. Mr. Bush (he deserves "Mr." because those abs - see below - clearly indicate he's all man) recently posed for GQ magazine. Brace yourself, people. After witnessing this fineness, you will never be the same.

{Pics spotted here}

I had been on a slippery slope to becoming groupied out when I found out that Mr. Bush had pledged several tens of thousands of dollars to New Orleans area schools.

But I lost my grip on any semblance of restraint when local news reported this evening that Mr. Bush feels that God placed him in New Orleans for a reason; and, that he wants to be heavily involved in the rebuilding process. Fine and spiritual. Well that's just the icing on the proverbial cake.

In those familiar-yet-apt words from our fave 90's sitcom, Martin: "YOU GO BOY!!" Even my mother took one look at these pics of Mr. Bush and said: "Now that's a screen saver for sure."

Lessons Courtesy of Project Runway, season 3

Lesson #1: "Zaftig" is Tim Gun's sophisticated way of agreeing with Heidi and calling the model below "a fat Minnie Mouse" (Heidi's words). "You have the zaftig model, right," Tim asked barely above a whisper. Allison replied equally quietly, as if not being a bean pole is the bitterest taboo, "Yeah, she is larger than the other girls." I'm just happy I learned a new word. You know I'm a nerd. {Pic Source}

Lesson #2: Post-five-kids boobies should still be put on display. Thank you Laura for showing all of the viewing public your left nipple while you were stooped over in rage spewing criticism at Vincent. "Did you think your model could walk in that dress," she demanded to know. Did you think your tit wouldn't fall out of that top, I thought. You really didn't want me to post a pic of that!!

Lesson #3: A high-waist dress is inferior to a high-waist dress with a trump l'oeil belt. (Thank you, Michael Kors. I just learned yet another new word.) Well, at least this dress hierarchy exists in Jeff's twisted, stuck in the 90's mind. Jeff, behind Laura's back: "Another high-waisted dress, Laura?" {Pic Source}

{Laura's Dress, above.}

{Jeff's dress w/ trump l'oeil belt, below}

Lesson #4: Michael Knight is becoming so popular with the judges because when designing clothes he uses his IMAGINATION. Michael: "I imagined the plastic wrap was organza!" Who knew? I guess, Spongebob was right. You can do anything and go anywhere - even win Project Runway -when you use your IMAGINATION. {pic source}

Say It Ain't So! - Football Edition

Yesterday, anticipation and excitement had a party when I found out that Clinton "Fine Ain't the Word" Portis and the Redskins were playing Chad "Sweet Cheeks" Johnson and the Bengals.

Then anticipation and excitement got drunk on the prospect of a half-way decent first half of pre-season play. Quickly, the party went from merry to melancholy. What am I talking about? I'm talking about how my jaw dropped and hit the concrete when Clinton "Fine Ain't the Word" Portis made a great tackle, but didn't get up for a while after doing so. The diagnosis: partially dislocated shoulder. The prognosis: indefinite.

{Portis being examined by team doctors.}

{Source}

Portis' injury gave way to many compelling arguments for why the pre-season should be curtailed; avoiding injury among the chiefest. Conversely, there were observations that, regardless of the number of pre-season games, Redskins head coach Joe Gibbs should not have been playing Portis in the first place because Portis was ready to go - he's a vet, in shape and on point for regular season play.

{Portis looking like: WTF?!?!}

{Source}

Determining the correctness of these scintillating sentiments offered by everyone from our beloved ESPN analysts to the guy at the gas station interests me very little. All I know is that I am on the verge of moving back to D.C. and that I will have to suffer through Redskins games left flavorless by the indefinite sidelining of a player of which I am a huge fanatic. Shut yo' mouth and say it ain't so!

I was so filled with bitterness after Portis was injured, I could barely give just due to Chad "Sweet Cheeks" Johnson, who was sporting a look akin to the guy, Sosa, that Ox put a hit out on in Belly. All he was missing were the feathers. I wish I knew how to photoshop pics. He's still "Sweet Cheeks" though.

{He's bold; and clearly not affected by what others think or say.}

{Source}

Great PTI Host M.I.A. w/ UPDATE

Okay, Tony Kornheiser, co-host of Pardon the Interruption, has been on "vacation" for well over a month and maybe even two months if you count all the time PTI doesn't air because of poker, racing and golf. This show delicately balances older men's frustrated aloof-ness and distance from contemporary culture with quality sports analysis.

[Pic source]
Kornheiser is the master of that endearing, old-man grouchiness. Without Kornheiser this show suffers, which isn't to say that I don't like Wilbon, the other co-host, or Dan LeBatard, Kornheiser's substitute. But I am suffering just trying to watch it, especially when Wilbon decides to take a day off too. Its bad enough the show is somewhat boring, not through their own doing, but because baseball lingers on forever with its prima donna players hogging up sports news all summer long. At least, I could pacify my boredom with the NFL off-season and the MLB penant race with the rantings and ravings of a cool, old dude.

Long story short, where is Tony Kornheiser? PTI needs him. And I think I'm suffering withdrawal.

If anyone knows drop me an email or comment. **Eyes tear up**

**UPDATE**
Kornheiser is easing into his position as co-host of Monday Night Football on ESPN; hence, the absences from PTI.