Adventures of the Random, Celebrity Penis

Check out this story about Chris Rock. And you will see - in conjunction with today's earlier post about Michael Vick - why I now dub this day:"Adventures of the Random, Celebrity Penis!!"
or maybe: "A Day in the Life of theRandom, Celebrity Penis!!"
On this day we should all take note of the random road travelled by the celebrity penis. Oh the places its been, the people its met, the random acts it has performed. Celebrity penis, we salute thee! Yeah, not so much.

A toothless dentist...???

Fresh at Crunk & Disorderly is reporting that Michael Vick recently settled a lawsuit with a woman who accused him of giving her herpes. The young woman, Sonya Elliot, is reported to be a 26 year old health care worker.

Random Observation: What is a health care worker doing knowingly having unprotected sex with one of the most popular players (and penises) in the NFL? She must be a health care worker as in serving meals to patients or something. How is she going to have any credibility when urging patients to make healthy decisions? She's like a toothless dentist telling someone to floss. Now she got herpes. Yeah, that ish has NO cure!!! Rap it up, people.

Pic from (Crunk & Disorderly)

Get D*ck or Die Tryin'???

I rented "Get Rich or Die Trying" about 2 weeks ago. It was my first time seeing the film because I really didn't care to see it in the theatres.

Random Observation: Is it me or is this movie pulsating with homoeroticism?

If you don't believe me. Check out this post at Four-Four. I literally laughed until I cried reading Rich's critique of the movie.

Random Observation: There's one homoerotic moment Rich doesn't discuss. It's the scene where 50's character asks Joy Bryant's character to feel the bullet fragment in his tongue. She sticks her finger in his mouth. And then it happens... He sucks her finger. WTF!!!! I don't care that Joy Bryant is female and that he is sucking a female's finger. The way that he does it screams "homoerotic." Trust me. Add that up with all the butt-naked grown men, the full frontal nudity from Terrence Howard, and you start questioning everything.

Little Men are All Heart

After seeing T.I. in ATL last weekend and witnessing the crazy chain of events that was the Mayweather-Judah fight this weekend.

I have one initial random observation - little men are all heart.


In the film ATL, scars were clearly visible on T.I. lips. Many claim that those scars are from the beatdown T.I. received when he - crazy out his mind - went to Houston looking for Lil Flip during their beef - as if it has ended. Legend has it that some big dude (I don't know if he was affiliated w/ Flip) busted T.I. in the mouth causing T.I. to bite through his bottom lip.

Random Observation: Now correct me if I'm wrong, but you got to be one sandwich short of a picnic to go to someone else's hood, which just happens to be about 800 miles away from your own hood, looking for beef. I mean, look at this dude in the pic below. This little man put the smack down on the Billboard charts and knocked out his acting debut all the while talking shiz-nit through some lips that have probably been busted more than once. I mean I still don't know who he's the King of, but the fact that he thinks he is only furthers my point.

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Saturday night, "Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather fought Zab "Super" Judah in Las Vegas for the IBF Welterweight Belt. (For all my ladies, welterweight describes boxers weighing between 140-147 pounds.) Everyone I spoke to and every journalist who wrote a pre-fight article was certain Mayweather would win, but anticipated the battle nonetheless. Well, the fight turned out to be entertaining, to say the least. First, Judah, the southpaw (left-handed, ladies), seemed to catch Mayweather offguard by sticking with him and by just plain sticking him. (Look at the pic above. Zab is tagging Pretty Boy Floyd with the left.) Mayweather appeared hurt in the second round.

Then after the tables started to turn, Judah (many believe intentionally) punched Mayweather "where the sun don't shine" and then in the back of the head in the 10th round. Trainer/uncles and trainer/daddies went to jumping in the ring. At one point, I think Pretty Boy Floyd's uncle choked up Zab - at least that's what the highly credible Don King alleged.

On the left, Mayweather reacts to the low blow.

Random Observation: Is that faux fur on his trunks? Fierce!?!?!

On the right, Pretty Boy Floyd's trainer/uncle, Roger "Black Mamba" Mayweather, is restrained.

Ultimately, Mayweather won the fight to no one's surprise.

Random Obersvation: Thank you, Pretty Boy Floyd, for shaving your underarms. It used to be so gross watching Roy Jones fight with all that "taco meat" on his chest and under his arms.

Random Observation: He's still fine, though. Roy, that is., even though he hasn't won a fight since the Reagan administration (I'm exaggerating).

Look at what Pretty Boy Floyd did to Zab's eye, but Mayweather worked Judah's body over pretty good too. Still, I think Judah will be hitting up the nightclubs and music videos in no time.

Random Observation: After the movie last weekend and the fight this weekend, I think little men might be what' s hot in the streets for summer 2006. Ladies, if heart is a quality you seek in a man, look no further than the little man.

PS: By little man I mean anyone under 5'8" and under 150 lbs.

Go forth. Be random!

These Women Are Really Caking

If you care about news and journalists, then you probably know that Katie Couric is preparing a move from the Today show on NBC to CBS' evening news. Announcing the move this morning, Couric will become the first woman to be solo anchor of an evening network news program. Meanwhile, NBC is preparing to replace Couric with Meredith Vieira from the The View. The deal between NBC and Vieira is expected to be for four years at $10 million a year.

Random Observation #1: Dang! I didn't know Today show hosts were caking like that. Where have I been? And why didn't I start interning at my local news channel yesterday? Yes, I know that these women put in many years to get to the point where they are pulling down millions. But that's my point exactly. I'd gladly take an unpaid internship today for $10 million/year tomorrow. I'm floored. But then maybe noone else is. I admit I'm not really a guru on the average salary of a national news person.

Random Observation #2: Doesn't Vieira favor (resemble) Couric? From the blonde hair to the cheek bones, its a little creepy. What does NBC think: if they replace one blonde with another that no Today show watcher will know the difference? Check out the pics above.