WWE meets NBA??

Last night while watching some NBA playoff games, I started feeling like I was watching WWE wrestling. In the first game I saw, Bulls v. Heat, Dwyane Wade went down hard in the second quarter. (Pics are the property of Getty Images and were borrowed from here.)

He was writhing on the floor in pain for about 3 minutes before being helped to his feet.


Then he came back in the 2nd half Jordan-ing people up. I would hate to think that Wade feigned or exaggerated his injury. But his performance got me to thinking...What the hell is in these cortisone shots? Could it be that they can turn a limping man into a slam-dunking, fast-breaking man? Amazing!

I also started thinking about wrestling and how some random guy is down on the canvas being pummeled by his opponent, when...oh my goodness...he does some flipping maneuver...and suddenly is whipping the crap out of his nemesis. Ridiculous. Well, I guess you can't fault Dwy-Ane for his early preparation for his second career...as a professional (fake-out) wrestler. Hey everybody can't be sports analysts or sideline reporters. (Speaking of which, did anybody see the butt-crack awful job Jalen Rose did as a sideline reporter on Sunday night? By the end of that game, my ears were bleeding. I though the "NBA Cares" program prized literacy. Ooohhhh!!!)

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Anyway, in the second game, Lakers v. Suns, Raja Bell and Kobe Bryant thought they were opposing, NFL lineman going head-up. I would've paid for them to "take it to the street." Or maybe jump from the scorer's table and pin each other to the court while the ref shouted "1, 2, 3." LOL!!! Anyway, they both got technicals in the first half and were ejected in the 2nd half.

Everybody knows Kobe can get a little elbow-happy. Apparently, Raja wasn't taking no stuff last night. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Nobody questions Kobe's talent. He's a freakin' awesome basketball player. But if his talent is big, his ego is exponentially bigger. And that seems to be fine with everyone (the media, Phil Jackson, his teammates, fans, the state of Colorado). But, like I said, it wasn't fine with Raja Bell.

When Raja clothes-lined / head-locked Kobe down to the floor in the second half, I have to admit that somewhere deep inside I cheered. Yes! Finally, there is someone, besides Shaq, who refuses to kiss Kobe's ass. Raja, you rock!!

Adventures of the Random, Celebrity Penis - Part Trois

Just before the Lakers-Suns game last night, TNT announced that Kwame Brown, Lakers Center, was being investigated by the LAPD for sexual assault. You can get the story here. Anyway, Kwam, cuz I know him like that - yeah, I don't know him - hasn't been charged as of yet and has denied all wrongdoing. Now I wasn't present when the alleged sexual assault occured, but Kwam is 6' 11" and weighs 270 lbs. All he has to do is breathe on me and I would be assaulted. That's a big dude. I saw him in person when the Lakers played the Hornets in New Orleans in March; and, he was not only the biggest dude on the court, but in a 50 mile radius. Maybe the sexual assault is just a misunderstanding. Dude is big, maybe he was giving a fan a hug or something and someone's silicone breasts got smushed in the embrace. Hey, it could happen in L.A. Or maybe not. Out of respect for the victim, especially if s/he is being truthful, I will end all my speculations and bad jokes.
But I will say this, I have already posted three random, celebrity penis posts in about a week's time. This crap ain't funny. I have run out of witty, insightful things to say - yeah, like the random, celebrity penis is the reason I have no wit.
I leave you all with this: No means no, people.