Adventures of the Random, Celebrity Penis - Part Trois

Just before the Lakers-Suns game last night, TNT announced that Kwame Brown, Lakers Center, was being investigated by the LAPD for sexual assault. You can get the story here. Anyway, Kwam, cuz I know him like that - yeah, I don't know him - hasn't been charged as of yet and has denied all wrongdoing. Now I wasn't present when the alleged sexual assault occured, but Kwam is 6' 11" and weighs 270 lbs. All he has to do is breathe on me and I would be assaulted. That's a big dude. I saw him in person when the Lakers played the Hornets in New Orleans in March; and, he was not only the biggest dude on the court, but in a 50 mile radius. Maybe the sexual assault is just a misunderstanding. Dude is big, maybe he was giving a fan a hug or something and someone's silicone breasts got smushed in the embrace. Hey, it could happen in L.A. Or maybe not. Out of respect for the victim, especially if s/he is being truthful, I will end all my speculations and bad jokes.
But I will say this, I have already posted three random, celebrity penis posts in about a week's time. This crap ain't funny. I have run out of witty, insightful things to say - yeah, like the random, celebrity penis is the reason I have no wit.
I leave you all with this: No means no, people.